


His not-so-dead heart

by The_fangirl_arrived



Category: Fire Emblem Heroes
Genre: Fluff and Angst, Gen, Gender-Neutral Summoner | Eclat | Kiran, Hurt/Comfort, I love Alfonse, Líf is Alfonse, also let's pretend Alfonse's other alts are just clothes he wore, and small divergences from canon, he is finally here and his lines made me feel things, more angst than fluff oh well, so here is the result of those things :D, so there is just Líf as the other him, spoilers about his lines I guess?, therefore I love Líf too
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-10
Updated: 2020-02-10
Packaged: 2021-02-28 05:08:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,739
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22568341
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_fangirl_arrived/pseuds/The_fangirl_arrived
Summary: After his final confrontation with the other Order of Heroes, he thought that was the last he would see of Sharena, Anna and his beloved summoner again. But fate won't let his suffering end, he thinks, as he find himself standing in the middle of the summoning grounds."Where... am I? Ah, I see. It's you, Summoner."
Relationships: Alfonse/Summoner | Eclat | Kiran, Líf (Fire Emblem)/Reader, Líf/Summoner | Eclat | Kiran
Comments: 14
Kudos: 120





	His not-so-dead heart

"You're finally here!"

The cool and composed ex-general of Hel is almost tackled to the ground following those words. Everything was happening too fast: at one moment he was standing in front of Sharena's grave, mulling over what to do next now that the queen of Hel was dead; at the next, a bright light and smoke blinded him for a few seconds before being able to see the faces of the people he fought. And now, the summoner - the **other** summoner, he reminds himself - is speaking like rapid fire, arms wrapped around his blue torso and face showing pure glee, the complete opposite emotion his other self has on his.

"I've been expecting you for so long! I can't believe Feh made a fool of me for making me think you were going to be the next Mythic Hero two months ago. Sure, I managed to summon Altina, and she's become such a great asset to the Order, but what it matters right now is that you are here!"

Those words, that touch, those eyes - eyes full of **life** , very different from those cold and empty ones that stared at him while he hold them to his chest, begging to the dragon-god Askr to bring his beloved summoner back - it was too much. He pushes them away, maybe with too much force, seeing as they stumble back. His voice fills the summoning grounds, tone cold like his stare.

"Don't act so casual with me, Summoner. Have you forgotten? I was a general of Hel, your enemy. I brought death and destruction to your world. Unless you want to feel the effects of my Sökkvabekkr, keep your distance."

He knows his old tactic of 'keeping others at arm's length' didn't work before, but he hopes that his dead heart will help him this time.

* * *

He tries his best to be curt and abrasive at every interaction with them, however...

_"Ready to go train, Líf?"_

_"It's not like I have a choice."_

_"Hey Líf, I think this skill would make you even stronger! Would you like to learn it?"_

_"Even if I said no, you'd make me do it anyway."_

_"Gods, I thought the war meeting was never going to end, I'm famished... Do you want to grab a bite with me, Líf?"_

_"No, I want you to leave me alone already."_

He foolishly forgot how stubborn the summoner could be - another trait his love and them share. And, because of that, his cold façade has started to slip up. Thoughts that were locked inside his mind begin to leave his lips. Small glimpses of emotions, such as worry...

_"If you want someone to patrol with, ask Alfonse. I am not your comrade. But... be careful. Please."_

And pain...

_"This castle is the mirror of my own. These surroundings flood me with memories... many I'd rather forget."_

And, maybe... even yearning.

_"I have faced despair so many times. Yet, when I'm with... No, forget I spoke."_

Everytime those moments happend, he could feel something wrong on his body. Standing in front of the mirror inside his quarter - not his **original** quarter, since it's being used by his other self - he inspects his upper front. Glowing blue torso, see through ribcage and spine, black and purple armor, furred cape, red eyes and dark blue hair with gray tips. So, this is what the others see - what **they** see - when looking at him.

This is, by no means, the first time he sees his own reflection, but it is the first time he sees his own reflection so **clearly** like that. It had always been blurred images on ponds, rivers and shattered glass. He can only remember what he used to look like when looking at the prince of this Askr - the one which isn't empty like his, which Hel couldn't destroy like his, which his beloved isn't **dead** like...

Ah. Now he knows what's wrong.

But how can this be? His heart has been dead for such a long time, so why does it hurt again during those recent encounters with the Summoner? His mind is aware that they **aren't** his summoner, and yet... the pang on his chest says otherwise. He has to do something about it, he can't deal with that pain. Not again.

Pursing his lips behind the blue mask, he leaves the room. He has to crush that annoying hope that has been growing on him, and there is only one way to do this.

* * *

"Ah, there you are Líf! I was looking for you!"

His breath quietly hitches hearing their voice behind him. He isn't fully prepared to put his plan into action, but he has no choice now. It's like people say, it's better to rip off the bandage all at once, so the pain doesn't last long. And rip it off he will.

He doesn't turn around, opting to keep walking, but they catch up with him nonetheless.

"I wanted to hear your thoughts on the strategy I created for this map."

"You came to the wrong person. Go ask Claude, Soren or any other tactician you have."

"But, I-"

Suddenly, he turns around to face them with a dark glare on his eyes. The summoner visibly tenses and walks backwards when he approaches them, until they are trapped between the hallway wall and him. He sees them gulp when he speaks again.

"Why do you insist on pestering me?

"I.. I just wanted to hear the opinion of a friend-"

They flinch as he slams his hands on each side of their head.

"What else must I do for you to understand that I am **NOT** your friend. And I will **NEVER** be your friend. Do you know why?"

He brings his face close to theirs, as if daring them to try to answer his question.

"Because **you** are the one responsable for my failure on restoring my world. Each day I spend here is a painful reminder that my people is still dead. That I have failed to bring back my sister, my summoner and everyone else that I loved because of **YOU**!"

He lets his words hang in the air for a few seconds, both staring at each other, and then backs away.

"Get it through this thick head of yours already: unless it is about striking down your foes, **don't** bother me with your useless chatter. Do I make myself clear?"

With a shaky nod from them, he turns around and leaves the scene. It's done. The bandage has been completely ripped off.

This is what he wanted - **needed** \- to do. So why... why has the pain in his chest become much **worse** than before?

* * *

Many days has passed since then and the summoner has been doing what it was told. They would only talk to him when it was time to go on a mission, complete quests in the Training Tower or participate in the Arena. Aside from that, they kept their distance as promised. Even when speaking to him, they would be polite, but direct and be on a respectful distance, all while avoiding eye contact.

He should feel satisfied with that new distance between them, after all this was what he demanded. He had to remind himself over and over again that they **weren't** his lover, despite all those similarities. Those two were completely different people. His mind was aware of that fact already, and yet...

One day, he saw the other ex-general of Hel talking with her brother. It was a very picturesque scene: she with her black armor that covered her see through red torso, and he with his rabbit costume from the Spring Festival. However, the strangest thing was that she looked... **content.**

After their moment together, he had approached her to question her behavior.

_"I see you've adjusted yourself quite well to our new situation."_

_"Well, it's been two months since I was brought here. It was time enough to know my way around. Who would have thought that one day I'd be living in the castle of the kingdom I've tried so hard to destroy."_

_"Indeed..."_

_"..."_

_"..."_

_" *Sigh* We have spent enough time together for me to know this isn't what you truly want to talk to me about. Come on, out with it."_

_"...When... when you see your other self with your brother, or when you interact with him, doesn't it fill you with... pain? Or anger? We are here only because we have failed to restore our world..."_

_"......Don't misunderstand, the pain is still with me. I... I don't think it will ever go away. But... during my time here, I've learned that I shouldn't waste this opportunity. He may not be my brother, but at least here he is alive. And that should suffice."_

_"..."_

_"We both know that our world cannot be restored anymore, after Hel's death. So, stop being an idiot, wasting time to push away what you truly desire while you still have the chance. Who knows when a new war will break out."_

* * *

It's another night without sleep for him. Not that it was something new, far from it. He doesn't even remember the last time he had a full night of sleep, even after being summoned to this world. The difference is that here he could hide away on his secret spot in the castle's garden, one of the few things his mind hadn't forgotten over the years of pain and despair followed his world's doom.

The spot is where he used to go to take his mind off from his many duties as prince, be it related to the Order or not. He'd go through a passage hidden by a specific wall covered in vines with Sharena's favorite flowers and there he'd find a stone bench - positined to have the perfect view of the full moon and the various constelations -, a small fountain for the birds to drink and bathe and many bushes with various flower - which he even took the time to learn their names and meanings.

In his privite heaven, his mind drifts back to the conversation earlier that day. She was right, there was no way for them to get their world back. Hel was the only one who could do it, and now she is dead. In that case, should he just... let go? Give up on what is not possible to achieve anymore? Give up on the people he loves? No, he can't possibly do that.

_"He may not be my brother, but at least here he is alive. And that should suffice."_

"Ah."

The voice brings him back to reality and he looks at the entrance of the passage, clearly surprised that someone... Oh. Of course, it's **them.**

He had shared his little secret place with his summoner in the past. Of course the Alfonse of this world had done the same.

"What are you doing up at this hour?"

The question startles them, seeing the way they flinch at hearing his voice while they attempt to leave quietly. They turn their head, looking at anywhere but him, and answer.

"I, um... I was writing some strategies for tomorrow's war meeting and then went to bed, but couldn't sleep... I decided to come here to relax, but... it seems you beat me to it, ahahaha... I-I should take my leave now, sorry to-"

"Stay. This place is big enough for the two of us."

"A-Are you sure? I don't want to be a bother..."

"I am not the owner of this garden, you have the right to stay here as well. ...I can leave, since I make you feel uncomfortable."

"No, no, no, it's fine! I-I'll stay!"

He scoots over to make room for them on the bench. After a few seconds of hesitation, they sit down, making sure to leave a noticeble space between their bodies.

The silence that falls in the air is tense. It's so silent that even the sound of both beathings' can be heard clearly. The summoner fidges with their hands on their lap, staring holes at the grassy ground, while he starts another monologue inside his head. What was he thinking, really? After everything he had done to push them away, he'd really expect them to **not** want to run away the second they stay alone with him? And that wasn't even an invite, he basically **forced** them to stay while they obviously-

"U-Um... C-Can I tell you something...?"

Once again, their voice bring him back from spiraling further down on regret and self-hatred thoughts, and he nods in response. They take a deep breath, preparing themselves for whatever they are going to say.

"I... I know it's a bit late for this, but... I'd like to apologize. For the way I treated you, I mean. We were your enemies until not too long ago, and it's because of us that you couldn't get your life back. You just... wanted to restore your world and we **stole** your only hope from you. ...No, **I** stole it from you. And yet, here I was, acting like I had done nothing wrong. Gods, I really am the worst right? I don't blame you for hating me... If I... if I could, I'd totally lay down my life for-"

**"ENOUGH!"**

He interrupts them with a shout so loud that even some birds from a far away tree fly away startled. He couldn't bear to listen to them speak with such regret and guilt, nor watch the way their hands tremble and the tears trailing down their cheeks. He has to make a conscious effort to not hold them on his arms and reassure them of their worries, like he used to do.

"Enough speaking nonsense. The one responsable for my world's ruin is Hel, not you nor anyone else. Had you not have stopped her, she was going to destroy yours and we'd be stuck in an endless cycle of trying to destroy the other in hopes to restore one's world. And don't talk so lightly about throwing your life away, you are a vital part of the Order of Heroes and even Askr itself. Why would you even do something as stupid as that?"

"Because... I couldn't handle to see you suffer. When I found out who you really were... I understood why my chest felt heavy each time you'd look at me on the battlefield. I-I'm so, so sorry for leaving you..."

"...Stop apologising for something that is not your fault."

A new silence falls between them, though very different this time. None of the two could look away from the other's eyes, full of emotions which are begging to be said out loud. He doesn't realise the gap between each other had vanished until he feels their hands on his face. Almost instantly, his body relaxes entirely and he leans on their touch. How long has it been since he last felt you?

"For you, I'd do anything... **Alfonse**."

"Don't, please... I have long abandoned that name... I am Líf now..."

"No. It doesn't matter how you look or sound, you will always be Alfonse, the one I **love**..."

That is the last straw on his willpower. Their words, so very sweet, make the tears he thought had dried long ago fall from his eyes. Tears of pain, guilt, anger, longing, sadness and many other feelings that were bottled up over the years since he lost them and everything he knew. And, by the way they are crying again, he knows they can sense them too.

Then, he feels their fingers touching the end of his mask.

"May I?"

He nods, not trusting his voice to answer them. The mask is pulled out and falls into the ground, neither of them caring where it may end up. Their touch goes back his to face, warm hands on slightly cold cheeks. It all feels so familiar - so **right** \- like they never really left him in the first place. He whispers their name for the first time since seeing them again and they whisper his in response, faces so close to one another, until their lips finally meet.

The kiss is so full of emotion that is like a conversation with no words. Feelings that couldn't be expressed before - _'I missed you so much'_ and _'I am here now'_ \- are conveyed through their connection.

And just like that, Alfonse feels his dead heart beating again.

**Author's Note:**

> I am proud to admit that I cried while writing this. I've never made something so emotinal before, I have my love for Alfonse/Líf to thank for.


End file.
